Jennifer Soldner INFJ
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The INFJ Empath Explained




INFJs often struggle with certain aspects of life without ever fully understanding why. Many times they know they are more sensitive than others (I would be shocked to find an INFJ who has not been told to "stop being so sensitive" on more than one occasion), but they may not understand why. This can lead them to look at this sensitivity as a flaw or a piece of them to be fixed.

The reality is that INFJs do tend to be more sensitive than the majority of the population. This sensitivity shows in many facets of their life, varying in intensity from person to person. Many report not being able to watch horror films or news programs because they struggle with handling the negative emotions. Others seem to have many physical ailments, frequenting doctors to figure out exactly what is wrong, only to begin to believe they are hypochondriacs.

These people can go through life constantly wondering what is wrong with them and how they can fix it, without ever fully understanding what is occurring.

They are empaths.

An empath is a person who feels exactly what others feel. This is not to be mistaken with sympathy, which is trying to understand what someone is going through, or even the very similar word empathy, which is actually just being familiar with what someone else is experiencing. An empath literally feels exactly what someone else feels, even if they have never experienced, nor can they relate in any way to what the other person is going through.

These feelings are not only emotional, but can come about physically as well, taking on ailments, discomforts or pains someone else is feeling. An empath can be physically fit and healthy and suddenly feel shooting pains in their arm as they witness a sports injury. Or they can develop throbbing headaches if they know someone with frequent migraines. Sometimes the empath is not even aware of what is happening. They may have to lay down from excessive back pain when they are all alone in their living room only to discover a loved one miles away fell off a ladder.

What sounds like a sixth sense or some unknown clairvoyance is actually just basic science. Once someone discovers that they are, in fact, an empath, learning about the science of what is happening makes coping with this seemingly awful trait much easier, often times turning it into a well-loved gift.

Everything in life is energy and thus exudes energy in waves. Most go through life completely oblivious to these energies, or only feeling them at smaller frequencies due to lessened sensitivity. INFJs, however, tend to be extremely sensitive, heightening their response to these energies even if they are not aware of it.

When someone near you experiences an emotion, that emotion is emitted from them as an invisible energy wave. The level of the emotion can affect how strong the wave is. The average person would not be drastically affected by this wave unless it was at a very high level, whereas an INFJ or empath, would have a very strong reaction and often will absorb this energy as their own.

The closer one is relationally, the more heightened the sensitivity to their energy waves. If someone in the grocery store down the street stubbed their toe, an empath may be none the wiser. Whereas if their child did the same thing in the same location, the empath would be so finely tuned (even unknowingly) to their child's energy waves that they could feel a minor pain in the same toe.

There was a study conducted by Rupert Sheldrake which showed a dog's awareness of its owner's intentions to come home despite the large distance between them. Dogs, known to be much more sensitive and hyperaware than humans, can pick up on the energy waves sent by their owners from a great distance, affecting their behavior and giving them insight about the owner's actions at the precise time the owner makes a decision.

The same is true for some humans. While not all INFJs have the same level of heightened sensitivity, and they are certainly not the only type capable of being an empath, they are the most likely type to exhibit empathic abilities because of how sensitive they are to those around them.

I strongly recommend any INFJ who has discovered their personality type to look into empathic abilities further as it may offer many answers to the difficulties life poses. Once you discover your ability and understand exactly what is occurring physically through energy waves, your gift becomes much easier to cope with and even possible to control.




22 comments:

  1. I'ts only within the last 15 years that I realized I was an empath. What can one do with it? How does it benefit one? I look upon it as a spiritual gift, but for the life of me I can't figure how to use for the sake of anyone.

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    1. It helps to have someone to just be there and understand.

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    2. In my experience, the best way I have found to use this ability is as an advocate for others. I have been able to understand how others are feeling and push hard to get help for them when they are unable or unwilling to get help for themselves. It can be extremely overwhelming and stressful at times, but so rewarding at the same time, especially when you can feel their relief.

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  2. Thanks for sharing. I am an INFJ and this is making so much sense to me. I do struggle from day to day in an extremely extroverted world...

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  3. I honestly felt comforted when reading through this. So much of what I go through on a daily basis is explained in these paragraphs. I have been dealing with these feelings my whole life and started believing the people around me, that I was too sensitive. There have been many times in my life when I have felt someone or had someone come to mind right before they called or came to see me. I have noticed that my emotions are effected by the people's emotions that I am around. I also notice that I am easily overwhelmed when in a large group of people. My brain seems to want to shut down, and I become unable to express what I am thinking. "Many report not being able to watch horror films or news programs because they struggle with handling the negative emotions."- This is so me. I can become emotionally and physically affected by just listening to someones story.

    I feel empowered by reading all of the traits of the INFJ, because I now have some explanation clearly put down in words of who I am. Not that you can completely describe every aspect of a person, but it really has given me some ground work to build on. I have always been drawn to work that involves helping others, and with this encouragement I will know that what I want to go for will really make my soul feel good. Thanks so much for posting this! To all of the INFJ's out there- you have a beautiful heart and soul. You are special. Don't let anyone make you feel any different.

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  4. This is more or less true, but a part of it is horrible advice for INFJ empaths (and empaths in general). Emotions do not travel between humans via waves and there is zero science to back up this nonsense.

    Empaths automatically reconstruct the emotions of others via their perceptions of others. It is not possible to feel exactly what others feels. It is only possible to reconstruct and feel something similar to that, using YOUR emotions, your emotional world.

    Ask those empaths who have been destroyed by sociopaths and psychopaths. If emotions would indeed travel in the ether then they would have felt nothing and could have avoided the entire situation. Yet they were tricked into feeling all kinds of interpersonal feelings.

    Please, it is important not to give advice which helps sociopaths and psychopaths to use or destroy INFJs

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    1. I agree that our emotions are always our own. However, energy waves are all around us and there is ample evidence to this theory. Empaths are sensitive to these energy waves which affect our emotions. We still have control over our own emotional world at all times, but one can control their emotions best when they are knowledgeable of what is triggering them.

      Sociopaths and psychopaths are a different story. These are not people who genuinely feel the emotions they use to psychologically abuse their victims but rather they fabricate these emotions and convince their victim to feel them and question their own intuition, knowledge and sanity. They are not portraying true emotions, they are just masters of influence. As someone who was raised and abused by a Narcissistic Sociopath, I am well aware of their methods of psychological abuse which have little to do with what I am referring to in this article.

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    2. NO. There are no magical "emotional energy waves." There is NO science involved here. There are energy waves around us. They are visible light waves in the electromagnetic spectrum. They permeate the retina, travel through the ocular nerve, and are processed in the cerebral cortex. You are just seeing these things. As sensitive INFJs, we actually pay attention to others emotions and intuit their feelings from their posture, facial expressions, and demeanor. The frontal lobe reconstructs these sensations as what we believe another is feeling. The right supramarginal gyrus, a part of our brain that prevents us from thinking egotistically, is simply more developed in INFJs. It ensures that we separate our own emotions from our perceptions of others' emotions, which are gained ONLY through nuanced, and at times unconscious, behavioral analysis. That is how we empathize with others (and fyi "empath" is not a word; look it up). While your article is well-intentioned, it is not science, but pseudo-science. As an idealistic INFJ and a scholar of neuroscience, I value truth above quasi-truth. Don't make me laugh.

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    3. There is still so much we do not understand when it comes to science. It is for that reason that a scientific mind is best served when we remain open to new concepts that we may not understand. While your tone and condescending implications under an anonymous identity lead me to believe you are not open to a discussion on this topic, I do wish to reply for others reading and interested in learning about an area which science is only beginning to touch.

      While I agree with what you mention about empathy and INFJs' perceptions of others' emotions, this does not address the empathic abilities to which my article refers. While "empath" may not be a term widely found in dictionaries as of now (just like many familiar words we use today as language is an ever changing concept), it is a term familiar to many. Consider it slang, if you will, for the more technical term "clairsentience," a form of clairvoyance.

      As for the science to support these waves (which are not "magical," as you state, but rather very real), there are psychological studies that are showing how electromagnetic waves interfere with the emotional part of our brain, altering our emotional states temporarily, called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. Another more recent study is thought to link the low-intensity electromagnetic field of geomagnetic storms (caused by solar winds) to suicide incidences in women among many other emotional influences (http://www.academia.edu/6340016/Geomagnetic_Fields_their_Fluctuations_and_Health_Effects). A popular study that is making its rounds from the HeartMath Institute shows the waves given off from our hearts which affect the emotions of those around us (http://www.heartmath.com/science-behind-emwave/).

      While some scientists may believe this is pseudoscience, others think newer studies are opening doors to amazing new discoveries of how the world around us affects our brains and thus our emotions. The important thing is to keep an open mind, open dialogue and exhibit "empathy" to those who experience the world differently than you.

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  5. Jennifer, you said so much here! I am still pondering it all!

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  6. Jennifer, thank you for all of your efforts! Really appreciated.

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  7. This explains so much! I thought this was some innate ability unique to me! I can't count how many times I've felt that sort of thing before! I used to have a friend in primary school who had migraines (although I didn't know about them at Primary School so I just called them headaches) and I used to just KNOW when one was coming on!

    The creepiest example has to be when I was a baby. Of course, this could be coincidence (but are coincidences real, or just something a higher power has made happen?) as I have no idea what I was feeling at the time, but nevertheless... My dad was driving home from work when he crashed on the side of the road and he was quite possibly dead (luckily not). My mum was naturally extremely stressed and was worried I would be a nightmare to put to bed like usual. This one time, this one and only time my mother was stressed out of her mind I went to sleep fine. Not the night before, not the night after.

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  8. (Oh yay, this finally posted properly! I've had to write it out 3 times because it wouldn't post for some reason...)

    This explains so much! I can't count how many things in my life this explains! In primary school a friend of mine experienced severe migraines and I could almost ALWAYS tell when they were coming on. That's just one example of many! I could go on for hours writing about the rest but, as expressed above, I've written about "the rest" twice already and both of those times it got overwritten for no real reason...

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  9. The etymology of empathy means "to fly in spirit." I find it's important to stay centered in myself and be at times peripherally aware of people's energy around me. This is better than -leaving- my body to feel into something/someone else. My perception of the outer world is clearer this way because I am keeping my own spirit free of distortion. Try "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.

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  10. I never knew! This makes sense of my whole life! What an epiphany! Thank you.

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  11. Hello, I would like to ask you something. Well, I am definitely an INFJ. I have been studying mbti and its functions for months and that is the way my brain works. I think I am (or was) a very healthy one. However, there is an aspect of me in which I do not relate to INFJ's descriptions, posts or videos. That is the money issue. Well, even though I do not like to admit it, all my life I have cared a lot about money. I was raised being usually the richest kid around. Despite the fact that I knew I was wealthier than my friends, I would be very responsible with money and not spend a lot. I would be very good at saving money. As I grew up, I started to develop a fear of going broke and not being able to maintain that lifestyle. I liked to dress very well, go to restaurants... I always knew I would not like to live with lower income. I would even have nightmares about being poor. As crazy as it sounds, my fear became true. When I was 20 years old, my father passed away and due to some facts related we lost everything. I went from being rich to middle-low class. I am very depressed. I miss money and the things it buys. I do not feel good about myself without all those things. So, as you can see I do not think I have a normal relationship with money. However, instead of not caring about it (as most people say an INFJ would) I have always cared about it a lot. And now that we are broke, it has gotten me into a depression. What are your thoughts on this matter? Is it normal for an INFJ to care so much about money?
    I know this has been a long post. Thank you for your attention.

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  12. Reading your post actually had me thinking "that is so INFJ." INFJs tend toward anxiety and worry, especially when pulled out of their comfort zone. Our comfort zones vary dramatically based on how we were raised. In your case, the lifestyle that made you feel comfortable was based on money and having that taken away leaves you frightened and anxious.

    There is certainly nothing wrong with enjoying a certain lifestyle. I think we are trained to think that selflessness or virtue can only come through poverty and that having money creates monsters. It really comes down to how far the love of money goes. In your case, it would seem that your depression comes from a dramatic lifestyle change more than from greed or evil desire. What you do now is your choice. Whether you chase money and your old lifestyle at any cost (greed) or accept your situation, recognize what you want to work for and obtain that lifestyle through moral, patient development. But the first step is to not attack yourself for enjoying comfort. All humans enjoy comfort (though what comfort is varies). Once you accept who you are, what you find comfortable and recognize your current state is fluid, you will be able to work on the depression and rebuild a life you long for. Try to find the good in your current situation, even if all that may be is character development for the future. :-)

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    1. Thank you very much for your answer. I appreciate it. Also, I sometimes think I am actually an ENFJ since all the descriptions I read or videos I watch about them fit me better than those of INFJs. It is just that all my life I have enjoyed being alone (sometimes I go out and party) and I have some friends but I have never been the kind of guy to have a lot of friends. That is why, even though I have good social skills, I would consider myself an introvert. What are your thoughts about this? Have you written something about ENFJs?
      Thanks in advance.

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    2. It can definitely be a fine line, but a very personal one. I recommend doing some research about the cognitive functions of each personality type. Breaking down the functions may help you figure out the difference. I would sense that you are an INFJ, as ENFJs are extremely social and tend to have a wide social circle. I do not have any articles about ENFJs but a little research comparing the two will probably give you a lot of information. Best of luck!

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  13. Thank you very much for your response :)

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  14. I found your site a few weeks ago and found it comforting, motivating, enriching and so far everything you have said resonates with me. Today I happened to open this article, there it was the answer i was looking for, You see for the last 3 weeks I have been concentrating on fixing "my flaw", which has been a grueling and consequently i have been lethargic and uncommunicative the last 2 days No wonder I was having difficulties. That is a relief and i promise to finish reading what you have generously provided thans jennifer

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  15. To believe that energy waves don't exist is very closed minded. How then does WiFi work??? Invisible energy waves and frequencies. Your argument there is invalid

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